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Dr. Strangelove Wavs






Dr. Strangelove: "With the proper breeding techniques, and uh.....ratio of, say.....ten females to each male....I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present Gross National Product within, say, 20 years!"


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General "Buck": "And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority." *


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"D.S.O. to Captain - I have an unidentified radar blip."


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Dr. Strangelove: "It would not be difficult, Mein Fuhrer! Nuclear reactors could.....oh, I'm sorry - Mr. President........nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinately. Greenhouses could maintain plant life......animals could be bred and SLAUGHTERED!......."


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General "Buck": If.....on the other hand........we were to immediately launch an all-out and coordinated attack on all their airfields and missle bases, we'd stand a damn good chance of catchin' 'em with their pants down!" *


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General "Buck": Well, uh, Sir? Ah, i-if the pilot's good, see - I mean - i mean if he's really....sharp, he can barrell that baby in so low, I - hehe! You oughtta see it sometime, it's a sight ya - a BIG plane like a 52 - VROOM! Ha! Just jet exhaust, fryin' chickens in a barnyard! Hahaha!" President: "Yeah, but HAS HE GOT A CHANCE?" General "Buck": "Has he GOT A CHANCE? Haha! Hell, yeah......yea.......ye........" *


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Green Beret Colonel: "Ok......I'm gonna getchyer money for ya.......but if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?" RAF Liason Officer: "What?" Colonel: "You're gonna have to answer to the Coca Cola Company!" *


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General "Buck" (to his mistress): "You just start your countdown, and ole Bucky'll be back here before you can say.....Blastoff!"


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RAF Liason Officer: "I, em.......don't quite.......see what you're getting at."


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President: "How is it possible for this thing to be triggered automatically, and at the same time, impossible to un-trigger?" Dr. Strangelove: "Mr. President - it is not only possible - it is essential - that is the whole idea of....this..... machine, you know.....Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy......the FEAR.....to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevokable decision-making process which RULES OUT human meddling, the Doomsday Machine is.....terrifying!?!.....hehe, it's simple to understand!?! - and completely credible and convincing." General "Gee, I wish we had one of those "Doomsday Machines", (Danesy?)!"


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RAF Officer: "I would say, Sir, that there was something........dreadfully wrong somewhere......"


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The President: "What is going on here? I demand an explanation!"


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The President: "But this is fantastic, Strangelove!"


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RAF Officer: "And my advice to you, Jack, is to give me the code now - and if those devils come back and try any rough stuff, we'll fight 'em together, boy, like we did just now on the floor, eh? You with your gun, and me with the belt and the ammo - feeding you, Jack. "FEED ME", you said - and I was feeding you, Jack...."


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General Ripper: "I can no longer sit back and allow.......Communist infiltration......Communist indoctrination.......Communist subversion.......and the International Communist Conspiracy.......to sap and impurify.......all of our precious bodily fluids!" *


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The President: "He....went a little funny in the head!"


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General "Buck": "Mr. PRESIDENT - we MUST NOT ALLOW a MINE SHAFT GAP!"


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RAF Officer: "Now, s'posing I play a little Guessing Game with you, Jack boy!"


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Dr. Strangelove: "Mr. President - I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens!"


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Dr. Strangelove: "SIR........I have a plan, heh......(takes several steps)......MEIN FUHRER! I CAN WALK!"


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The President: "I find this very difficult to understand!"


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General Ripper: "I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness!"


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The President: "But this is absolute MADNESS, Ambassador!"


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B-52 Pilot: "Operate Manual Override!"


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The President: "Well, I......I would hate to have to decide.....who stays up and.....who goes down!" Dr. Strangelove: "Remember, ah, that would not be necessary, Mr. President. 't could easily be accomplished with a computer. And the computer could be set and programmed to except factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence and a cross-section of necessary skills! 'f course, it would be absolutely vital that our top Government and Military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of Leadership and Tradition! YUHUHUUH!"


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General "Buck": "You mentioned the, uh, ratio of, uh, ten women to each man...now, ah, wa, wa, wouldn't that necessitate the, abandonment of the so-called, uhm "monogamous sexual relationship", I mean, as far as men are concerned?". Dr Strangelove: "Uhh....regretably, yes. What it is, you know - a sacrifice is required for the future of the human race....I hasten to add that since each man vill be required to do prodigious.........SERVICE along these lines, the Women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics, which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature."


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General "Buck": "Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed! But I DO say no more than ten to twenty million killed - tops! - eh, depending on the breaks!" *


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Electronics Officer: "Bomb Door circuits Negative Function!"


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B-52 Pilot: "Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horsetrader's mule.......the radio's gone, and we're leaking fuel, 'n' 'f we's flying any lower, why, we'd need sleighbells on this thing......but we got one little budgie on them Rooskies - 't this height, why, they might harpoon us, but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!" *


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Dr. Strangelove: "It would not be difficult, Mein Fuhrer!"


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General Ripper: "There's nothin' anybody can do about this thing now!" *


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Green Beret Colonel: "I think you're some kind of deviated Prevert! I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of Preverts!" *


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The President: "Read it!"


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General "Buck": "That's ridiculous!"


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B-52 Pilot: "Well, boys, I reckon this is it - Nuclear Combat toe-to-toe with the Rooskies!" *


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General "Buck": "Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn the whole program because of a single slip-up, Sir!" *


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The President: "Can't you stick to the point, General?!?!"


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General Ripper: "Now, why don't you just take it easy!"


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The President: "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here - this is the War Room!"


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RAF Officer: "Ah, you're gonna have a little wash and brush-up, are you? What a good idea! Always did wonders for a man, that, Jack! A little wash and brush-up! Water on the back of the neck, eh? Makes you feel marvelous - that's what we need, Jack! Water on the back of the neck and the code!"


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The President: "What's going on here?"





All files digitized by J. C. Kaelin, Jr. 1995-1996, except where otherwise noted.


* Digitized by Monte of the now defunct Monte's Sounds Page.





© 1996-2014, J. C. Kaelin, Jr.. All Rights Reserved.

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