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REALLY Weird Wavs






Download Selection balls.wav

A submission by an ES1 fan (who wishes to be anonymous) - the 1950's BBC Radio kids show "Listen to Mother" segment, "Balls". To quote from the donor, "It has to be heard to be believed, just remember to picture the young children with their mothers as this went out... and what must have been more than one snickering father..."

RealAudio 3.0 version.


Download Selection blhippy.wav

An insanely out-of-it caller to the Bob Lassiter talk show, part one. A classic talk radio moment.


Download Selection blrocky1.wav

Part 2 of the above.


Download Selection blrocky2.wav

Part 3 & the conclusion of the above.


Download Selection The_Troggs.ra

The Troggs lose it in an argument over how to record a song.


Download Selection Welles'_simple_act.ra

Orson Welles making whine before it's time.


Download Selection Orson_&_Findus_64.mp2

A present from Andy Mucho, this incredible file chronicles the grammatically wearing ordeal Mr. Welles was in making radio ads, this one for Findus frozen foods. It made matters all the worse that the ad copy was just about as bad as Orson said it was.


Download Selection differnt.ra

Colonel Sanders tries very very hard to get one of his more famous '70's TV commercial voiceovers out of his mouth. Judging from this, it's amazing he ever did. An anonymous SubGenius' production.


Download Selection Elvis_on_being_strung-out.wav

THE Elvis flips out over allegations that he was "strung out" on heroin while ill with the flu. The crowd loves his maniacal outburst & Elvis responds with a "Thank you very much" as though he just ended a number onstage.

RealAudio 3.0 version.


Download Selection manson.wav

Is he mad? The answer's OBVIOUS.


Download Selection Hipsters4.WAV

A 50's Beatnik relic digitized by a protege of Clay Loomis.


Download Selection Howtobeg.wav

A classic madvertising rant which starts off the Handmade Films picture "How To Get Ahead In Advertising".



RealAudio 3.0 version.


Download Selection Howtoend.wav

Also from "How To Get Ahead In Advertising", the messianic, maniacal capitalist ending rant. Truly one of the most inspired off-center moments in film.



RealAudio 3.0 version.


Download Selection Mr.RodgersWithAstronautCharlieWorden.mp3

It doesn't get much...more than this - Mr. Rogers has the nerve to ask a real-live astronaut how they go potty in space. Worse, the astronaut, Charlie Worden, answers. They sent him to the moon for it - it was a closely guarded secret during the Cold War.


Download Selection nisker.wav

One of the first of free-form radio disc jockeys & veritable inventor of the media barrage political satire art form in the sixties, Larry "Scoop" Nisker, doing a piece on the 1968 Democratic National Convention. A veritable landmark in satirical broadcast media.

RealAudio 3.0 version.


Download Selection PIASON~1.wav

You've heard of "Hooked on Phonics"? Here's "Hooked on Paisonics"! Submitted by a once good friend.


Download Selection P9_025.wav

From Ed Wood's "Plan 9 from Outer Space": "We did not come here as enemies. We came only with friendly intentions - to talk - to ask your aid...


Download Selection P9_025.wav

Another from "Plan 9": The greatest BadPsychic of all time, Criswell - "We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio and even television. And now, some of us laugh at outer space..."


Download Selection sebastian.ra

Sebastian Cabot brings home the bacon with an unusually candid, truth-in-advertising slip-of-the-tongue endorsement of the Smithfield Smoke House kind.


Download Selection shemp.wav

From "The Shemp Meditation Tape". You can imagine what a sound file from a tape with such a good name would sound like.


Download Selection the_word.rm

Rev. Poindexter instructs us all on the anatomy of THE WORD.


Download Selection tleary2.wav

Timothy Leary has the final word - literally.


Download Selection tongues.au

The Christal Methodists at it again, letting a radio evangelist hear them speak in tongues better than some who do it for real!


Download Selection toon.rm

I'm sorry, but every time I listen to this, even though I've had it for three years, I crack up all over again just as much as the first time. It's the Loony Tunes gang doin' a gang ---. Praise St. Alphonso/Lorin Swelk!


Download Selection web.wav

"One World - One Web!" (wish I could remember where I found this...)


Download Selection widda_wimmen_TS.wav

A onuva kind wav of a radio broadcaster reading the long, long, long letter of a manifestly sex-crazed moron. It's amazing the announcer could actually take it so seriously for so long. Lock up your women & barnyard animals.


Download Selection Xenu.ram

Alright, so it's not audio, it's video - but it's got an audio track, and after all, it's not the truth either. That is, it's not the truth to anyone other than a Scientologist.



All sound files digitized or edited by and (C) (P) 1995-1997 J. C. Kaelin, Jr..


© 1996-2014, J. C. Kaelin, Jr.. All Rights Reserved.

I Shall Return to aUdIo WeIrDnEsS! H2 ES1 Return to ES1 Return to aUdIo WeIrDnEsS!